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Are you a slave to money or its master? Sharon Lechter, financial advisor and international best selling author, says if you don’t control your money, it controls you. She has worked tirelessly for years developing tools to help families become financially literate.

Sharon tells Dr. Nancy about her financial education organization, “Pay Your Family First,” her “YOUTHpreneur”  program, which sparks the entrepreneurial spirit in children, and her game to teach financial literacy through play, “Thrive Time for Teens,” winner of the Game of the Year.

Sharon also describes her role as co-author of the new book, Think and Grow Rich: Three Feet from Gold. The purpose of this book is to update Napoleon Hill’s 1930s message of success to address current financial times, with inspiration and experiences from today’s successful business leaders.

Finally and most exciting, Sharon tells about her new DVD release, “Money for Women by Women,” which she and other professional women developed to help women learn and become successful at mastering their money.

Click here to learn how to become the master of your money.

Is your sexual relationship with your partner a dim memory of your youth? If you are too busy, too tired and too involved in other things to care any more, you are not alone.

Genie James, M.M.Sc. says that over 40 million Americans are in either a “no sex” or “low sex” relationship and she’s here to help. She co-wrote her new book, In the Mood Again, with her husband, C.W. Randolph, M.D. R.Ph., to help people regain their natural energy and sexual fire.

A trailblazer in women’s health, Genie has written, consulted with clients and spoken to groups about achieving maximum health for more than 20 years. She maintains that the lust for life doesn’t have to change as we age, but can be kept alive through diet, exercise and holistic approaches to health.

Genie tells Dr. Nancy that natural fire isn’t limited to sex. It’s also an indicator of creative fire that makes life worth living. She shares signs, symptoms and research about the dangers of out-of-balance hormones.

Click here to find out how you can get and stay healthy, energized and re-activate your sexual desire.

How much are you getting out of your relationship? Are your needs being met? If so, how much: 5% — 20% — 60%? These are the questions Dr. Catherine Cardinal says that you need to ask yourself in her new book, Men to Run From, So You Can Find the Right One to Run to.

Called “The Self-Esteem Doctor” by her clients, Dr. Cardinal discusses the importance of having a healthy self-esteem and loving your “self” before you can share that love with someone else.  Living and working in Los Angeles, she tells Dr. Nancy how her clients often have powerful self-confidence in what they do, but lack the self-esteem that gives them balance in all aspects of their lives.

This “Conversation with Dr. Nancy” analyzes how our lives are a work in progress for each of us. Dr. Cardinal breaks it down into several aspects of the self and talks about how her new book is a workbook for taking a close look at yourself and your most significant relationship.

Click here to listen to this thought-provoking conversation.

Maggie Jessup and her husband, Jay, have co-authored a new book, Fame 101, to show you how to transform your personal brand into mega-stardom. It’s a proven formula used by alpha-celebrities of all professions.

Listen to Maggie’s Conversation with Dr. Nancy: “Timeless Women Share Strategies for Fame.”

Then click here for a free E-Review of Fame 101. Don’t wait, click NOW! This is  only available for a  limited time.

I recently spoke with Sharon Lechter, the author of the book titled Think and Grow Rich, Three Feet From Gold. She is a CPA and has dedicated her life to helping men and especially women be financially stable and able to care for themselves.  She and I both agreed this is today a huge problem of women  of all social classes that are not educated about finances and when a life crisis such as a death of a spouse or divorce, many are left completely shocked and fearful of money management.  Women are also losing their hard earned cash to men who take it and leave them broke. What is wrong with this picture?  Sharon and I also agreed women had better stop husband shopping and looking for PRINCE Charming to sweep them off their feet and make all the bad stuff go away. The top selling paperback books are romance novels in the United States.  Women are looking for love in all the wrong places and are not helping each other learn basic skills to help them balance their checkbooks.  Do you manage your own financial affairs or do you have someone else doing it for you?

Sharon says to be successful you have to plan on being just that, “successful” and one of the best ways to do so is with hard work and lots of help from others who have been there.  One of the fastest growing trends in the United States is “women owned business.”  I hope this means women are in fact out there helping one another.  I am involved with a women initiative that is helping women in transition.  We are helping them find good jobs, get training and also matching  them up with female mentors to help them learn the ropes of the business world.  We must help one another and not make any excuses about what is keeping us down. Today make yourself a promise to never put another woman down and promise to help another woman each and everyday.  I think if we all do this we will see things change for the better and who knows there might be “NO MORE FIRSTS” for women.  Dr Nancy

• High stress levels were best predictor of divorce.

• 75% of those who died during sex were in an extramarital affair.

• Men in good marriages had fewer illnesses than wives did.

• Wives in bad marriages had more illnesses than husbands did.

The notion that marriage is good for your health received a recent boost from a 20 year longitudinal study of 90 married couples by researchers at Ohio State University. Professor Janice Kiecolt-Glaser and her colleagues at the Institute for Behavioral Medicine found that married couples who reported low levels of stress were less prone to illness than those who had conflict ridden marriages. The key to these results may lie in the effects of conflict on the immune system. The researchers reasoned that positive marital relations help people avoid stress. This means that marriage partners produce lower levels of the stress-related hormones, such as cortisol. Earlier research by the Ohio State group demonstrated that for long-term married people, lower cortisol levels correlated with lower risks of infectious diseases and possibly cancer.

Interestingly, when the couples in the present study were re-interviewed after 10 years, the researchers found that those who previously had higher levels of stress related hormones were more likely to get divorced (19%). In fact, having high stress levels was the best predictor of divorce. (Whether the partners gained in health as a result of divorcing remains an open question.)

Do husbands and wives benefit equally from a good marriage? The answer seems to be “no.” Men with good marriages had fewer illnesses than their wives. At the same time, among couples with bad marriages, the wives had more illnesses than the husbands.

Being married also has social benefits for both men and women. As Robert Johnson, Professor of Sociology at the University of Miami put it, “Marriage or being in a romantic relationship is a highly valued social status, so it will make people feel good about themselves because of the value society places on it.” At the same time, extra-marital sex may be life threatening. Kiecolt-Glaser cited a British study from 2002 that indicated that risk of heart attack during sex was lower for married couples than others. In fact, 75% of those who died during sex were engaged in an extramarital affair. Professor Kiecolt-Glaser suggested that sex itself is usually a mild form of exercise, but illicit sex may be stressful.

Source: Why a Good Marriage is Good – for Heart and Health by Howard Cohen,
Philadelphia Inquirer, February 27, 2005, pg. M2.

Here’s an excerpt from a 1950s high school home economics textbook. If their mothers acted this way, small wonder they’re confused by us millennium women! Do you ever feel guilty because you can’t live up to this fantasy of the “Good Wife”?

• Have dinner ready.
  Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

• Prepare yourself.
  Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

• Clear away the clutter.
  Make one last trip through the main part of the house. Gather up the books, toys, and newspapers. Dust the tables so that they appear clean. Your husband will feel that he has reached his haven of rest and order. Doing this for him will give you a lift also.

• Prepare the children.
  Take a few minutes to wash their faces and hands. Comb their hair and change their clothes if it is necessary to make them look presentable to him. They are “God’s Creatures” and your husband would like to see them playing their part.

• Minimize all noise.
  At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noises of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum. You’ve had plenty of time to do these things during the day. Don’t do them now. Encourage your children to be quiet. Be happy to see your husband. Greet him with a warm smile.

• Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints.
  Don’t complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through today.

• Make him comfortable.
  Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down for a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

• Listen to him.
  You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first.

• Make the evening his.
  He is special! Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax. Remember that you relaxed all day waiting for his return. Now it’s his turn to enjoy what you enjoyed.

Try to make his home a place of peace and order,
a place where your husband can relax in body and spirit.

By Allie Ochs

This man in front of you, whom you trusted and relied on all these years, is no longer the same. You yell, scream, reason, cry, argue, debate, plead and finally demand he be who he used to be. It is not going to happen! He is finally going through what many before him went through and many after him will go through: midlife crisis. Nothing will be same from here on.

There is a big difference between women going through menopause and men going through midlife crisis: women are more prepared. We have read about it, talked to our girlfriends, our shrink and are allowed to show and verbalize our emotions. We have a support system in place that we can call upon. Men don’t understand what they are going through and why they feel the way they do. Your husband will not want to admit that he feels old, unattractive, out of shape, overweight, balding, unhappy in his career and overburdened by responsibilities. He is frightened by the thought that he might die before he has really lived.

He looks at his life and can only find fault: not enough money, too much debt, too much work, too much responsibility, no fun or play, getting old, fat and depressed. He has become negative and quite frankly, he is fed up. He is burned out and wants to escape.

Some men seek help to cope with this dreaded phase, but many more try to find answers on their own. Some may face this crisis with the help of their wives, resulting in a closer and stronger relationship. Some may seek the answers in a new hobby, fitness program, diet or simply rearranging priorities. Others seem to need a facelift, sports car and or the cute blond from the office. They may even blame their wives and family for their misery: “If I wouldn’t have married you, I could be sailing off in the sunset, instead of paying our mortgage and our children’s education.” The difference in coping strategies lies in a man’s ability to express his feelings and willingness to reach for constructive solutions. Men and feelings often do not blend. They want to appear strong, collected and in control, even when they are at their weakest.

So what do you do with such a man? Fist off, his crisis is not your fault, nor is it his. If you insist that he return to his normal self, you are asking for the impossible. Further more you will be the last person, he would want to ask for help. You simply have to allow him to seek his own answers and ways to deal with what he doesn’t understand himself. Encourage a healthy lifestyle, hobbies (except the blonde from the office), doing different things, getting rid of unnecessary obligations, vacations and simplifying life in general. Offer help if he wants it and suggestions if he seeks your guidance.

This is also a time when many marriages have gone stale. Reinvent your relationship and do things that you enjoy together. Marriage that have been strong before are a huge support in helping overcome midlife crisis. Yet, not all marriages survive midlife crisis. He may take off with the blonde from the office to grab a piece of youth (literally). Should she become his selected survival tool, you are not going to stop it.

No matter, which way the dice fall, you must look out for yourself:

• Take care of you
• Become independent
• Get fit
• Stay healthy
• Widen your horizon
• Do new things
• Strengthen your relationships with your children family and friends
• Meet new people
• Be kind to yourself

Although you are there to help him, don’t let him drag you down with him.

Source:

• © 2006 Allie Ochs
  Allie Ochs is a speaker, relationship coach and author of: Are You Fit To Love? Her book has received the honorable mention at the USA 2004 Best Book Awards. She has appeared on TV, Radio and is published in numerous magazines and newsletters.
  Visit her website www.fit2love.com and take the Fit 2 Love test.
• Article Source:
  www.homehighlight.org

Passive Men and Wild, Wild Women

by Kare Anderson

Men aren’t born passive. Women aren’t born wild. We just have that effect on each other … too often.

When and why does a conversation become one-sided, or dissolve into conflict, and how can you turn it around and stay sane?

Here’s some gut instincts research-based insights on:

• why things often go sour between the sexes, followed by
• four suggestions for smoother, more satisfying ways to stay connected:

At work, the man is often active, articulate, assertive, and usually successful in his conversations, especially with other men.

But at home he can become inactive, inarticulate, and withdrawn. He becomes passive with his wife – especially in certain situation.

Yet even when the woman works outside the home she tends to communicate in a more active way at home – and instinctively wants the same style from her mate.

His apparent passivity drives her crazy.

In the face of his further retreat, she goes wild. * Then he becomes more still, and escapes at the first opportunity.

In personal relationships women often want too much talk, as men sees it. She feels resentful, complains, keeps asking questions, talks more, may even act bitter.

He feels he can’t meet her needs and ends up feeling guilty and sulks. They both end up blaming each other.

He thinks: If only she’d shut up.
She thinks: If only he’d talk to me.

How to Engage Men in Positive, Lively Conversation

Suggestion #1″ – Stop Talking Sooner”

Or, less politely, “shut up sooner.” As a child my mother washed my mouth out with soap for saying “shut up” yet that’s sound advice for women in trying to connect with men. Women are usually immediately aware of our feelings, able to express them, usually comfortable in explaining, and asking, and elaborating… in considerable detail.

Our verbal agility can inadvertently create a wall, as women, if it gets us out of sync with men. At times, in personal, social and work situations, men and women will get closer if the speed of the conversation and the amount of words slows down.

When women feel that men are not listening, we tend to “rise” to the occasion by raising our voice and verbiage. That is we tend to say more, faster, more intensely and at a higher volume. It is as if we are thinking, “What I said and how I said it did not work so I will do more of what did not work, and expect a different outcome.”

Our pace in conversation is faster and more multi-dimensional. We rush past and around most men.

We need to allow a man to respond, a point at a time, at his pace, without interrupting or finishing his sentences.

If the strongest complaint women have about men is that they do not listen, then we must work hardest on leaving the time for them to  speak.*

Suggestion #2 – “Sidle”

While women prefer to talk, face-to-face, men pefer to sidle, standing side by side. Research shows that both women and men like each other more and get along better when standing or sitting side- by side.

Suggestion #3 – “Get Moving”

Any woman who wants better relations with a man should “walk it out:” talk while walking to the meeting, around the block, etc.

Further, when men and women are walking or eating together their body motions become more similar so they get more in sync. Even vital signs (heartbeat, skin temperature, eye pupil dilation) become more similar) so we are more likely to feel a natural, easy kinship. In motion we tend to experience the best, rather than the worst side in the opposite sex. That’s good news. Yes?

Suggestion #4 – “‘See’ the Situation Their Way”

Women crave longer and more continuous eye contact than men. To help men feel more comfortable let go of that unremitting eye gaze. Glance away sometimes as a man is inclined to do while thinking. His glance away does not necessarily mean avoidance so don’t act as if it does by a your harsh tone, words or glance. He may be trying to gather his thoughts.

Some Further Peace-Keeping Suggestions for Women and Men:

• It is harder to argue when you are holding hands.
• Know that showing appreciation and attention, especially when you least want to show them and the other person most needs them, will always bring you closer than asking for them.
• First look to the other person’s positive intent as you hear what is said.
• Saying less often gets you more of what you want from him.
• Looking directly and warmly at her, rather than away, often brings out the part of her you most enjoy.
• Making and keeping an agreement usually helps the other person feel more safe, respected and cared for in the relationship.
• First try to act in a different and positive way before you verbally ask for a change in someone else.
• Don’t interrupt, especially when you most want to.
• First answer the other person’s question. Answer it directly, without preface, qualifiers, countering, second guessing, answering questions she or he did not ask or raising other points first.
• Do not answer a question with a question, including questioning that person’s question of you.
• Find out whether the other person feels you’ve answered her or his question or otherwise responded adequately before you move onto your question or another point or topic.
• Showing resentment and resistance will most likely escalate the hardening of sides between you.
• Rather than describing what you don’t like, ask for a specific change.
• Be willing to make a change before asking for one.
• Don’t ask for more than one change at a time, unless you want them all ignored.
• Know that the more changes you ask for the more resistance you’ll face, and the more likely it will be for you both go to your heads to think, rather than to your hearts to feel.
• Use factual language and few words to describe what you want changed.
• Use emotion-laden language, and more words, to describe what you like in the other person.
• Women: Say and move less, especially when you want to do the opposite
• Men: Give her more eye contact. If you don’t feel comfortable answering her right away, tell her so directly. Then tell her when you will get back to her with a response.
• In the middle of your hottest moments of discussion, remember what you most like in the other person and take the time to express it.
• Of course all these apparently wise pieces of advice are much easier to offer than to live by.

More Thoughts on the Still Man and the Active Woman:

Joseph Heller wrote a vivid passage about what this feels like for a man in his novel, “Something Happened”: “I try my best to remember on what terms (my wife) and I parted this morning, or went to sleep last night, in order to know if she is still angry with me for something I did or did not say or do that I am no longer aware of.  Is she mad or is she glad? I can’t remember. And I am unable to tell. So I remain on guard … “

Consequently his routine around her begins by being on guard, walking on eggshells, and hers is to speak out more, sooner, longer and wait for him to “get it”, to respond. When he doesn’t, she escalates her attack, gets more specific and detailed, motivated to get him to finally respond. He gets overwhelmed and tunes out sooner, longer and more frequently.

You see something gradually changed. The tenderness left. And tenderness is the lubricant in male/female love relationships. Early in a relationship men and women are innocent until proven guilty. We literally don’t see what we do not want to see and focus on what we adore. Later, after repetitive “passive men and wild, wild women” episodes of friction, each person is guilty until proven innocent, from the beginning. Because that is what we grow to expect of each other and act out to prove each other right.

The rules now? Whatever he does now is never enough. Right or wrong, he is always wrong. And so is she.

Source

Kare Anderson is an Emmy-winning former NBC and Wall Street Journal reporter and author (http://www.sayitbetter.com) Her clients include Nomura Securities, Google, U.S. Secret Service and Venrock.