Archive for the ‘Your Money’ Category

“Proving Them Wrong” a Great Motivator for Young Woman

Monday, April 12th, 2010

We heard recently from a young woman named Tenisha Edwards who has a  business making inspirational t-shirt for girls. This is her story:

“Back when I was just a young girl, I remember being taken away in the police car, my mother had been missing in action all night,” recalls Tenisha. “From that day on for a very long time, I felt I was born to win but left to lose in this thing called life. My journey of  not feeling Loved and low self esteem began.

Tenisha Edwards“My first foster home was a devastating experience, they always called my mother “crazy” and for a 9 year old girl, if mom is crazy then I must be crazy too. They always talked bad about me as if  I was not even there, they laughed at me because I didn’t know how to put on a training bra at the age of nine.  The other kids in the home got new clothes and I got hand me downs.

“The next foster home was absolutely unhealthy … my foster dad wanted to have sex with me and would peek in on me while I was taking a shower. He told me that I was lucky to even talk to a man like him and I remember thinking if that’s lucky, I don’t ever want anything to do with luck. He also told me that I was too dark and my hair was nappy and my nose was big … oh yeah, lets not forget That I would amount to “NOTHING” in my life.

“It was in that moment that I decided that even though my parents left me and no one wanted or loved me and everyone in my life at that time made sure I didn’t forget it, that I would “BREAK THROUGH” and do great things with my life.

“I have a line of inspirational t shirts. My mission is to Inspire Real Life success for girls. My passion for this came from my experience growing up in foster care from age 9 until I was 18 years old and having no positive role models in my own life.

“I want to help young girls live life with purpose, passion and positivity and to know that no matter where you come from success is achievable. I give a percentage of the proceeds to Girl Talk www.desiretoinspire.org. I have designed my shirts to inspire and lift the spirits of all who wear them, as well as those who see them. Our Inspirational Tees were created from our hearts to yours as a tribute to celebrating life, embracing change, taking risk, and experiencing peace and joy.

Naturally there is nothing more important for you to do than to be … There is nothing better you can be than you naturally … Inspiring Real Life Success for young girls!”

Tenisha         Comments Off

Holiday Gifting Blog

Monday, November 30th, 2009

A Thoughtful Gift Is More Appreciated Than a Costly Gift

A couple of years ago, I started making my dad cookies for Christmas. I had run out of ideas for him. He has every power tool known to man or woman, no longer wears out his clothes and has more magazine subscriptions than he can possibly read in his lifetime. He also has a diabetic wife who no longer bakes like she once did. Having sampled the store-bought cookies at their house, I saw a void I could fill.

I collected my mother’s old cookie recipes and chose three of his favorite ones. I bought huge plastic holiday tubs and baked for a day. He was surprised and seemed interested, but I really didn’t know how much he loved those cookies until my sister and I discussed his gift the following Father’s Day. She groaned about how hard he is to buy for now that he’s 84 years old. Then she said, “You’ve got the cookie-thing nailed down.”

“What?” I asked, not sure I heard right. “What do you mean?”

“He loves those cookies you made at Christmas.” She answered. After some probing, she described how stingy he was with them, how he wouldn’t share with company and managed to nurse them along until March. She assumed that I would bake more for Father’s Day.

Another thing my dad loves is tradition. He does not like change. So that cookie-thing is really nailed down. He returns the holiday tubs each year and I fill them with oatmeal, chocolate chip and ginger snaps every time. He is delighted. And so am I. And so are my nephews who get overflow cookies in their stockings and my husband who gets to snack on warm, fresh-from-the-oven cookies while I bake.

Dr. Nancy’s article on “Holiday Gifting on a Budget” will give you more ideas about ways you can celebrate and honor those you care for this holiday season. Holiday gifts can be more fun when you have to get creative about what to give. Tough economic times can create wonderful memories if you give from your heart and your imagination. Click here to find out more.

Women Under 50: Should You Mammo Every Year?

Thursday, November 19th, 2009

Women are worried about the recent recommendation that women under 50 NOT routinely receive mammograms. It’s hard to formulate a coherent rationale when experts have a variety of opinions. That’s what makes health care reform so challenging, isn’t it? Deciding how to allocate our limited resources.

Here are two perspectives I found in my in-box this morning from the RTIR newsletter.

Dr. W. Phil Evans, president of the society for breast imaging (SBI), says the recommendations are a step backward and represent a significant harm to women’s health.

A government health advisory panel has come out with controversial new recommendations about women and mammograms. The group, going against current guidelines set by the American Cancer Society, advises against routine screening for women 40-49 years old, one mammogram every 2 years for women between 50 and 74, and none for women over 74. Dr. Evans, says, “To tell women they should not get regular mammograms starting at 40 when this approach has overwhelmingly been shown to save lives is shocking. At least 40 percent of the lives saved by mammographic screening are of women aged 40-49. These recommendations are inconsistent with current science and apparently have been developed in an attempt to reduce costs. Unfortunately, many women may pay for this unsound approach with their lives.”

In contrast, a women’s health expert says that women’s fear of breast cancer is distracting them from much more important health issues.

Expert Nancy Sharts-Hopko believes the panel’s recommendations are based on long-term observations about what is effective. She adds that women are being misled about their real risks. “By far the number one killer of women is heart disease. One out of two American women will die of heart disease or stroke, which each year kills 356,000 women, compared to 42,000 women who die of breast cancer annually. Yet breast cancer is the top health fear of American women. We have much work to do in aligning women’s perceptions and self-care with this reality.”

Nancy Sharts-Hopko, Ph.D., RN, is a tenured Professor in the Villanova University College of Nursing. She has worked in the field of women’s health nursing for over 30 years; her published research has focused on women’s perceived health during various life and health transitions. She has also served as a member of and later as a consultant to two FDA Advisory Committees.

Here’s my BIG question: Does it have to be either/or?

Disability 101 – A Story of Stress, Patience and Process

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

I have been to the cliff of bankruptcy because of illness twice, looked over and managed to find a way to step back from it. The first time, was in January 2001; the second was in January, 2008 and we’re not out of the woods yet.

Anyone who has received a physical disability in the military – or who cares for someone who has – needs to talk with other women who have been through it. Dr. Nancy has encouraged me to tell my story here in hopes of helping other women handle the stress—and the system.

A study recently released in the American Journal of Medicine reported that 62% of all bankruptcies filed in 2007 were linked to medical expenses.  This figure increased by 20% since 2001. This was reported in a number of publications including the National Coalition of Health Care. No matter what your stance on health care reform and no matter how good your health insurance, serious illness can break you financially if you’re not prepared for a massive emergency. And, unless you have unlimited wealth, few of us are prepared for everything.

Short version of a long story: In July, 2000, my husband, John, awoke one morning and could no longer walk without excruciating pain. It followed that he could no longer work as a U.S. postal clerk He received no more pay checks and we embarked on a long, rigorous, expensive and confusing maze through the medical system.

Finally, in October, we tried a new internist, who communicated the diagnosis in a way we could understand. It was “spinal stenosis,” a narrowing of the vertebrae usually caused by one or more injuries and possibly aggravated by activities of living. I have only a lay person’s knowledge, but the symptoms are evident. My husband suffers from severe peripheral neuropathy (nerve damage) that feels like nails are being hammered into his feet at one point and complete numbness at another. Muscle spasms and debilitating cramps are more frequent than in most people. By February, 2001, when we filed our first disability claim, he could barely grip the pen to sign the forms at the Human Resources office at the post office where he used to work.

In March 2001, he received his first spinal lamenectomy (back surgery) in which the surgeon removed portions of Cervical 3-Cervical 7 to relieve pressure around the spinal cord and prevent paralysis. This surgery was successful, although John still drops things frequently and suffers from numbness and cramping in his hands and arms. In June, he received a second lamenectomy to relieve pressure around the nerves going to his lower extremities. The surgeon said that the bones were crumbling and he could not remove as much as he wanted to. John’s current doctor refers to him as “a victim of a failed back surgery.”

In April 2001, John received his disability award from the US Postal Service. From July of 2000 to April of 2001, we had no stable income. I hustled writing and pursued the hand-crafted jewelry business that we had begun together, sent cashiers checks by certified mail to keep our Federal Employees Health Insurance active and managed to keep everything afloat until January, 2001. We were broke and we had no immediate income.

Our “nest egg” was an extra retirement fund we contributed to that had been growing at 27% in the stock market. We cashed that in just before the market crashed that year. But we had to pay the previously deferred income taxes and a penalty until we filed a letter stating that we were withdrawing it “under duress.” The taxes were refunded as well.

We continued to limp along financially until June of that year, when John was granted an increase in his VA disability. With the VA income, he was receiving almost as much as he did working full time. I set up easy payment plans with the hospitals and doctors and, although he was still in excruciating pain, we had reached an equilibrium.

John’s original injury that caused his spinal stenosis happened while he was in the Army during the Viet Nam War. To receive disability from the VA, you have to prove that the incident causing the disability happened during your service. He has emergency room records that report the treatment he received for these injuries.

Now, 40 years later, his health is severely compromised. He’s on pain therapy, but has been declining and easily gets every infection that hits the general population. In January, 2008, he had 5 teeth removed and nearly died with the infection. The oral surgeon didn’t understand his condition and didn’t prescribe strong enough antibiotics.

By May, 2008, we had racked up about $5,000 in medical bills and I was back on easy-payment plans with hospitals and doctors. Maybe I’m just lucky. But when I receive these charges and know that I cannot pay them on time, I immediately call the office and ask to set up a payment plan. I have never been refused. And I have never been charged interest. I have heard that if they are carried over 12 months, hospitals will begin to charge interest, but I think this may depend on the individual hospital or doctor’s office. I also think that it helps to take a pro-active approach to paying this debt. Announce up front that you’re not a dead-beat and you’ll get a lot more cooperation.

In July, 2008, we helped some friends move. We’d barely begun and one of our friends pushed John though the house, ordering him to go sit out in the truck and wait for us to get things loaded. He was pale, clammy and looked like he would faint. His internist thought he spotted the problem as a side-effect of one of his medications. The doctor discontinued that particular medicine, but John still suffers from that symptom after only a few minutes of work.

So…John could no longer work at all. In August, after he sat out several art fairs where we sold our jewelry, I announced, “We must increase our disability income. This is too hard on me to do alone.” In September, we visited the Disabled Veterans representatives (DAV) to ask for help with increased VA disability. John’s internist wrote a 3 page letter describing his condition and how it has worsened in the three years since he began seeing him. The DAV rep submitted that letter and the request for increased disability to the VA. That was almost a year ago. We began a long correspondence with the VA. In November, 2008, John was examined for two medical conditions having to do with his disability. He has received requests for more information, which he answered. And we waited.

In January, 2009, we were broke again with about half the income we needed to pay the bills that had been building through the worsening economy, John’s increasing medical care and decreasing ability to work. We were privileged to have some friends and family to offer a personal “bail-out.” I hung out my writing shingle again and was fortunate to find work. But our disability income remains the same and we wait.

Yesterday, we received a notice (after about 3 months of silence) announcing another medical examination. This one seems to be a repeat of one of the exams last November, except that it will be done at a VA medical center. Last November, the VA was outsourcing the exams.  Phone calls asking about this new exam have been fruitless. The DAV rep is clueless. His advice was to do what they say. And we will.

I wish I could draw a happy ending…John gets his requested disability, rests as easily as possible and I go on to write the great American novel. But the fact is that he may get it and he may not or, here’s the really awful possibility, they could decrease his disability after a re-examination of the records. I can’t imagine that happening, but John keeps warning me that we took a risk when we asked for more.

My advice for anyone who is thinking about this path is to keep your records. If you or your loved-one is in the military and something happens (you are injured or witness something horrifying), request the records if there are any, keep a journal, name names of those who can provide corroborating evidence, and keep everything in a safe place. If you’re injured on the job or in some other way, keep those records and get ready to process paper work.

1.   Buy a file box and start organizing:

  • one file for medical records (more than one if numerous conditions are involved),

  • one file for letters back and forth from the agency you’re requesting disability from

  • more files for individual incidents.

2.   Date everything.

3.   Keep copies of everything.

4.   Answer all correspondence

5.   Get a doctor who can communicate and will work with you…not a quack, but a sincere professional who takes “patient care” seriously and knows what she/he is doing.

6.   Become a patient advocate or get one if you are the one who is sick or injured.

People ask me all the time, “How did you manage to get disability without an attorney?” The answer is simple: we were persistent. We followed the rules; we made sure we had evidence for every claim and we didn’t give up. Even if you need the help of an attorney, you’ll still need to keep everything pertaining to your claim organized.

When the topic of disability comes up, someone always tells me about some person who got disability when they had an accident several years ago. Now, that person is well and is a world-traveler or leads some other luxurious life-style, still collecting disability. They are the abusers of the system. And there is a clause in most disability rulings that if your condition is “improved,” you must pay back fraudulent disability payments you received. I also want to know what disability they are receiving. So far, I know of no fortune available unless you’ve been able to sue for damages and won. Most disability is provided as a livable income. You can be comfortable, but not extravagant.

Questions are welcome. I’m glad to clarify and share what little I know.




The Right Tools to Fight Frustration

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

When I think about fixing something around the house, I look for the right tool to do the job. It occurs to me that it might be easier to fix life’s little problems the same way. Dr. Nancy’s article, “Fight Frustration in the Office and Beyond” is not only a tool by itself, it provides a whole toolbox to “repair” different situations.

Yesterday, as I was riding in the tow truck, checking my watch and seeing how my entire meeting schedule was blown. I pulled out the “meditation tool” from this article. I took a deep breath and mentally reorganized my day and momentary piece of mind. No one was going to die if I was a day late on my schedule. Then I pulled out an “affirmation tool” and reset my goals and priorities. And there are a lot more where those came from.

Check it out and see if it doesn’t provide you with a tool or two to fight your own frustrations. Try an affirmation or use these to design your own. Open your mind, empty your cup and get ready to fill it again with success building career-job-life tools.

If you have a tool that works for you, share it. We all need as many of these as we can get.