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Wednesday, June 16th, 2010“Proving Them Wrong” a Great Motivator for Young Woman
Monday, April 12th, 2010We heard recently from a young woman named Tenisha Edwards who has a business making inspirational t-shirt for girls. This is her story:
“Back when I was just a young girl, I remember being taken away in the police car, my mother had been missing in action all night,” recalls Tenisha. “From that day on for a very long time, I felt I was born to win but left to lose in this thing called life. My journey of not feeling Loved and low self esteem began.
“My first foster home was a devastating experience, they always called my mother “crazy” and for a 9 year old girl, if mom is crazy then I must be crazy too. They always talked bad about me as if I was not even there, they laughed at me because I didn’t know how to put on a training bra at the age of nine. The other kids in the home got new clothes and I got hand me downs.
“The next foster home was absolutely unhealthy … my foster dad wanted to have sex with me and would peek in on me while I was taking a shower. He told me that I was lucky to even talk to a man like him and I remember thinking if that’s lucky, I don’t ever want anything to do with luck. He also told me that I was too dark and my hair was nappy and my nose was big … oh yeah, lets not forget That I would amount to “NOTHING” in my life.
“It was in that moment that I decided that even though my parents left me and no one wanted or loved me and everyone in my life at that time made sure I didn’t forget it, that I would “BREAK THROUGH” and do great things with my life.
“I have a line of inspirational t shirts. My mission is to Inspire Real Life success for girls. My passion for this came from my experience growing up in foster care from age 9 until I was 18 years old and having no positive role models in my own life.
“I want to help young girls live life with purpose, passion and positivity and to know that no matter where you come from success is achievable. I give a percentage of the proceeds to Girl Talk www.desiretoinspire.org. I have designed my shirts to inspire and lift the spirits of all who wear them, as well as those who see them. Our Inspirational Tees were created from our hearts to yours as a tribute to celebrating life, embracing change, taking risk, and experiencing peace and joy.
Naturally there is nothing more important for you to do than to be … There is nothing better you can be than you naturally … Inspiring Real Life Success for young girls!”
Tenisha Comments Off
The Power of Empathy
Sunday, February 7th, 2010Sad but true we will all lose someone we love. We may lose a beloved pet or a Grandparent we dearly love. None of us will miss this major life changing event unless of course we ourselves head out sooner than expected. My father recently crossed over. I like to say that because that is my belief that our life is a training mission. I cannot imagine any of us can get it right the first time. Oh well, I will not bore you with my beliefs or crazy thinking. (more…)
ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009I have several single friends that are meeting the holidays head on and are not going to let the holidays bring them down. For many women it is a great time of the year and spending time with family and loved ones (for me yes and no) is something to look forward to. But what about those women who are single and feel they do not fit the demographic norm often portrayed by the media, the woman who is married, has 2.5 children and she lives in a house with a picket fence with a DOG NAMED FIDO AND A CAT NAMED FELIX. I realize this example is over the top but during the holidays many of us (me too) seem to look at our lives and our circumstances with rose colored glasses or better yet look at our lives under a microscope and feel down. I really thought this blog was a good idea because we already know many married women have high or unrealistic expectations about the holidays and get all bent out of shape if theirs is not a replica of the Norman Rockwell scene in their homes. I also think we forget that for the single woman it is just as tough when the world is screaming ”be married and have a couple of kids”. There are single women who are out there everyday wondering where they fit in a society that tells them “one size does not fit all (if you fit the mold)” and “Will that be the “family pack?” that is plastered above their heads on the menu in the local fast food spot?”.
Read “Stress: The Uninvited House Guest.”
Monday, November 30th, 2009Picturing “stress” like a small invader that travels on your shoulder can help you put it in perspective. Dr. Nancy personalizes stress in this way in her new article, “Stress: The Uninvited Holiday House Guest.”
She outlines our expectations of the holiday season and discusses how unrealistic they are. Touching on clinical signals of stress, she helps us see how we can build stress until it becomes a health issue. If only we could see it coming.
That’s exactly what this article does. Dr. Nancy concisely lists the signs of stress and provides another list of how we can fight it off and glide smoothly through the holidays with all of our peace of mind in tact. Now that’s a picture worth imagining.
Man Says Women Have Won the War!
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009I just came across an article in the Huffington Post written by a male author who literally says “women have won the war against men and men are more like women”. I almost fell out of my chair when I read the article. He said men were doing more housework, childcare and were being more compassionate. I agree these are all important jobs of both mothers and fathers. Especially if they are lucky to still be married, have a good income, and basically agree to agree to share the roles as parents and as a couple. Point being he did not mention pay equality in jobs, jobs that still are not held by women, and that the “good ole Boys Network” is still blocking women from their full potential. I must not get too “bitchy” when I talk about the women who tell me about women who still do not have equality in the sports world when it comes to jobs, pay or opportunities. I also should not get upset in the year 2009 if there still are only a handful of women in Fortune 500 companies. Thank goodness the smart ones have left and have started their own companies and are now making 6 figures. I asked a graduate class recently if they thought women were still treated like a Minority group in our country. I offered information about the lack of equal pay, sexual abuse and crimes against a woman’s body and her job availability in today’s job market. I told them that children ages 5-12 years old when asked “if they wanted to be ”a girl or a boy” most often the response was “I want to be a boy“. When asked “Why?” Both girls and boys said “boys have more fun, have better jobs and make more money.” Many of the boys said they would want to kill themselves if they became girls. Out of the mouths of babes come the truths many of us just fail to see or do not want to admit exists. After my presentation the graduate class agreed that women still have minority status in this country despite their great numbers.
I want to remind you if you have not read our book, Timeless Women Speak”, I have three beautiful daughters and will have 7, yes 7 granddaughters so my work of sharing and making sure we do not have our heads in the sand is what is important to me. Be aware of the market place and how it wages war on our daughters and our own bodies to stay thin, young, and perfect. We are hit with the mantra: ”Stay young and beautiful if we want to be loved and find MR RIGHT” Sarah Maria is one of our latest smart, amazing women to share her ideas with us. I’ll be talking with her tomorrow and will post the recording on the website for your interest. She has dedicated her life to helping women of all ages to get over their “NEGATIVE BODY OBSESSION” and loving themselves no matter what they look like. In her new book “Love Your Body, Love Your Lives” she says “ women hate their bodies.” I say enough is enough! We must end this attack on our bodies, our self-esteem and our self worth.
So if we have won and men are more like women I would like to see some real proof and no more of this silly stuff. Women need to be aware of what is thrown at them by the media, articles like this one, and being told we are “OK” and it is all ok. I just heard another horror of a story that a recent medical journal said women should not have mammograms and it was a waste of time to do monthly breast exams. Bet they do not know anyone with breast cancer. What is going on? It was called by a news reporter a ”gender genocide” and you know what, I agree with her. We must wake up and make sure we do not fall prey to this kind of thinking or allow it to enter our daughters minds. Keep awake and be sure you know what is really going on. Do not believe everything you read or hear.
I guess I need to be fair and balanced since my last name is O’Reilly so, if you want to read more about this article, go to the Huffington Post and read Marcus Buckingham’s “Pyrrhic Victoria: Why Men Are Becoming More Like Women”, posted on November 17. Since I am such a good sport, I wish Mr. Buckingham happy trails.
Sandwich Generation Blog
Thursday, September 10th, 2009Personally, I don’t have children. A friend commented to me years ago that I would make a good aunt and I followed her sound advice. So my sister is the true “sandwich generation” in our family. She is the one who must juggle basketball games and proms and our 80 year old parents’ increasing needs. I’m just sandwiched in between career, caring for a disabled husband and parents who increasingly have emergencies because they can no longer cope with life’s more challenging demands.
When I read Dr. Nancy’s “Sandwich Generation” article, I realized how much my sister and I had yet to do with regard to our parents’ care. Whereas we have helped them create a Living Trust, both for them and our disabled sister, there is still much left undone.
Our parents won’t even discuss long term care and any mention of outside help, like Meals on Wheels or housekeeping services falls on deaf ears. We do know that nursing home care is the last resort. Our dad has already been kicked out of one within 24 hours of arrival. But we have taken Dr. Nancy’s guidance and are easing into more help as the needs arise.
If you have aging parents with or without siblings to help, read this article. The suggestions Dr. Nancy makes are absolutely golden. I can’t think of any she left out.